This week has been a Diane week. Actually it's been a Diane couple of weeks because Angela was in Mexico. Poor her. And it's rewarding to work closely with one teacher and watch how the classes build on each other and how they are different. What's so impressive to me is the obvious amount of time, preparation and thought that goes into every single class, from the sequencing of postures to the playlists to the readings. It's beautiful. But maybe what is more impressive is how willing Diane is to throw the script out the window if intuitively she reads that the class needs something different that what's she's prepared. The needs of the community are greater than the expression of the self and so are the rewards.
This has been a particularly stressful week for me. Lots of walking around the parking lot to blow off steam. But Yoga changes everything. In the first few moments of savasana, we drop all the stress to the mat and it just floats away. I am consistently amazed by the power of the breath. And I'm trying to take that from the mat to the Haworth Zody chair I sit in every day. I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer process stress. Or maybe I'm just more aware of what it does to me. This week, I even slurred my speech because my face was so contorted from the weight of everything that has been happening. Ridiculous. But I take it to the mat and the mat receives it and I stand up ready to face another day. How did I ever function through life without this practice. I honestly don't know.
I'm still practicing tripod headstand. And lots of core work. And I'm loving the results of both. I actually look forward to exercising the core muscles which I think highlights an inner sickness somewhere, but I'm okay with that. And the two are uniquely tied together. It's a strong core that is going to enable me to lift my legs into the air in tripod headstand. By working the core, we engage the solar plexus which strengthens self-esteem and courage. I don't think it's strength that I'm lacking at this point as much as it is the courage necessary to fall. It's okay to fall, as long as you tuck your chin and roll. The first time I fell, I did a sort of reverse belly flop. Good times. Not. So, there's the fear. But my darling friend, Kathy, is trying to teach me how to act out of love and not out of fear. I have to take that lesson to the mat as well.
Life is a circle. Lessons from the mat extend into my 'real' life and lessons from the external extend into my REAL life: the inner life. I'm becoming my own support system. I'm seeking that inner connection with the Divine that won't change or fall apart or waiver when everything else does. I'm seeking a faith I've lost. It's there...like a diamond disguised as a lump of coal. I just have to keep digging.
